Give Up Gravity For Grace - Expect Light

Points of Light I've experienced a few beautiful hours, but now I'm down.

Outside the temperature is cold, and the skies are cloudy. Dreary is the description that comes to mind. That would be descriptive of the weather and my present mood. Here are the words I've mentioned to you many times and apply - life isn't simple nor simply understood. But there are other words always present with me, the ones that inform me light is a constant and dependable! This makes light so unlike me and you, isn't this a good thing?

I'll tell you repeatedly - write. Light is constant, so color is always available to write about. This is a good thing to depend on because when you and I write, light is always available to provide us with plenty of color to choose from as we choose our words to write. I mean, I want to paint a beautiful picture with my words and my heart's desire is that you do the same. Why? Because I want to paint with my words to find beauty in my life lived. With this beauty, I aspire to be happy - happy enough to smile, and happy enough to enjoy the color the constancy of light gives me.

"But Tod, like you I'm feeling down." Yes, we are, but let's think about this with our words. We want to see past the dark here within and we want to see the light out there. I'd suggest you read my post - "Writing With Intention to Finding Beauty In Light." Here's something I say there - " Of that black hole, he wishes he could escape its pull, but one can’t escape the attraction of so great gravity." As a one-off, this sounds grave, it sounds ominous, but I go on to say that it really is possible to escape that great gravity. How? It's possible with words - when I, when we, choose to write them. In choosing to write, it's like we choose to give up gravity for grace with its almost unbearable being of lightness. Of that lightness, let me tell you it is bearable, and we can find it's a thousand, million, billion times better than being tethered down with the weight of depression's darkness. So why grant weight to being depressed when we can find words to write our way out of it?

On Wednesday the 6th of November 2019, I was working on this Blog. Now mind you, I know nothing when it concerns building a blog. As easy as the site creators try to make it, I still find it a challenge and I very much struggle with it. Thank God he's allowed me to find a talented editor to help me launch this blog and get it off the ground, but I still have to do my part. So, there I was doing and working on my blog, but failing miserably. I became flustered but continued working on it for a while more. I finally gave up. But Points of Light, I need you to know as flustered as I was, I didn't throw my keyboard across the room as I swore out loud from anger and frustration how this man "can't do one damn thing right!" That's been this man's past, a past that was dark, and what I just described about throwing the keyboard as I shouted degrading words about myself, that would have been one of the ugly beasts I've previously mentioned about. You can see how I'd have given a lot of gravity to that anger and frustration and how I'd have allowed its weight to tether me down. Points Of Light, this turned out differently for me, you see, I became flustered, true. But what's also true is that I felt mollified at the same time. Why? Because I saw light in this experience, and I found I happily gave up gravity for grace! So, I wrote about it and I'm going to share it here in just a little bit.

Earlier today I attended an event at my grandkid's school that they had invited me to a couple of weeks ago. It was a time for their elementary school to show appreciation and support for the United States and its veterans. It was an awesome event, and the presentation was thoughtful and meaningful. They moved me to tears twice. My grandson had a speaking part to present, and my granddaughter sang a tribute along with all the classes present at the event. My daughter was there as was my ex-wife. My work had been wonderfully expeditious in seeing to it I got whatever time I needed to be there to support my grandkids, and for that, I was very grateful. I had an awesome time, and my heart was made full. But on the way home, I began to feel down, and it was the type of down I used to experience at the onset of depression with its accompanying darkness. Why? As I said - "Outside the temperature is cold and the skies are cloudy. Dreary is the description that comes to mind. That would be descriptive of the weather as well as myself." You might say for a minute I gave gravity to an effect the weather was giving me. But now I've written and in writing, I've found points of light, and thank God, beautiful color - insert smile here!

Here's what I wrote about being both flustered and mollified after working on the blog -

I was getting flustered with the blog setup tonight. I'm okay and it's okay that I was getting flustered. Okay, it's a new word for me or said correctly, I have a new, better, and a real appreciation for an old familiar word. Life's a little different when you finally sit at the table elbow to elbow with other real people. I'm just unfamiliar with setting up a blog and in doing so, there's a learning curve to confront so that this blog and I can eventually become good friends. There's something to be said about experiencing a lightness of being when you give up gravity for grace, but as I've just arrived here, those are words I'm too uncertain of to write about and

share with you. I'm okay with this also, I feel good just knowing my heart has a desire to say something while it takes a pause in order to say it correctly and well. Flustered and mollified, that feels like nothing I've felt before, and it feels ever so surprisingly well. So adjacent to me, I feel an objective place where an evangelist envelops my mind in these transcendent words, "God is light, and in him there is no darkness—none at all!" I know grace happens without requirement or desert. Amazing grace and smiles for the color it reveals while I look at beauty's warmth. I want you to know I've encountered flustered, and I find myself happy.

As Always,

With a Lot of Love and Peace,

Tod w/only one d